|
 |
| Thursday, July 29, 2010 |
|
Lock Oman teaches a different kind of language - the language of emotions.
Jennifer Lock Oman, a clinical social worker and psychotherapist in private
practice, spent the first years of her life in Venezuela, where her Iowa-born
father - a geologist - and mother - a teacher - worked. Lock Oman only spoke
Spanish when her family moved to Des Moines in time for her to start school.
Now, she helps people understand a language many are unfamiliar with - the
language of emotion. Lock Oman works with clients one on one and reaches a
broader audience through her syndicated column, "Speak Up," which appears
locally in the Des Moines Register and in many other papers across the country.
What was it like for you to leave Venezuela as a young girl?
It was really culture shock when we moved here. We moved from the tropics to an
Iowa winter, and I didn’t speak the language. I spoke Spanish only, and I was
the only kid in kindergarten who colored her bananas green because that’s what
ripe bananas look like in Venezuela. It was all a huge adjustment for a
5-year-old child, and it was a hard transition to make.
Was your interest in psychology connected to your exposure to different
cultures?
I think that it was, because I was so aware of what it was like to be
"different" and the distress and the shame we experience with that.
What career path were you on before you decided to become a psychotherapist?
I was a political science major studying comparative political systems as an
undergrad at Northwestern University. When I got out of school, I first worked
for a German Bank in Chicago and later for a Saudi Arabian exporting company
based in Des Moines. What I realized pretty quickly is that females in
international business or international banking don’t have a lot of efficacy by
virtue of being female, not at that time, anyway.
Did that prompt you to do something different by furthering your education?
That’s when I decided to go back and get my master’s. I decided that I really
wanted to work with smaller systems than those I was involved with. Actually,
there are actually a lot of similarities between macrosystems like governments
and microsystems like human beings and their relationships. There’s a lot that
translates in terms of how systems work, and I think that was the appeal.
Did you feel like your life experiences would give you special insight as a
psychotherapist?
A lot of things played into my decision. The thing about psychotherapy that is
interesting is that it appeals to me on an emotional and an intellectual level.
Writing has always appealed to me, and that’s a way for me to blend those two
things in another medium.
How did you become a columnist?
I approached the (Des Moines) Register, and it took a couple of years. My editor
took the risk to do something new, and about nine years ago, it took off. They
suggested that I submit it to Gannett (Co. Inc., the Register’s parent company)
to be sent around the United States, so now it appears in papers across the
country, and through my Web site, people from all over the world are reading
it.
How many letters or e-mails might you get in a week?
It depends. I get probably 15 to 30 each week. Out of courtesy and respect for
peoples’ feelings and dilemmas I respond to them, even if they’re not
appropriate for the column.
How does your approach in writing compare to how you would approach one-on-one
sessions?
The writing that I do in the column is really a microcosm of what I do in
therapy. What I look for, with the e-mails that I get, as well as working with
someone in a session, is what’s the underlying emotion that’s fueling the
reactions, triggering the memories or coloring the perceptions. My goal in the
column is not to answer the questions in completion, but to get people aware of
and familiar with the language of emotions because most of us grew up without
any kind of language for what we’re feeling.
Is it difficult to make that assessment of people’s situations through a brief
e-mail or letter that you get?
It can be, but I go with what I have, and I go with what I assume or interpret
from what they’re presenting to be the driving emotion. The traditional view of
behavior is stimulus-response - the bell rings; the dog salivates. What I do,
and what comes out of Silvan S. Tomkin’s work and (Donald)Nathanson’s, is a
stimulus-affect-response model. When there’s a stimulus, there’s an intervening
emotion or affect. If you can manage the affect, then you have a shot at
changing the behaviors.
Have you considered writing a book of your own?
Yes, I’ve started it. It will elaborate my take on the language of emotions,
just to put a framework around what I write in the column.
What do you do when you’re not writing or seeing clients?
For me, tennis is my release, and I play weekly. I do acupuncture, massage,
reflexology and all kinds of things to manage my body, because that’s where our
emotions reside. I think therapists need to have physical stamina to
make it through difficult therapy sessions, because emotions and feelings are
so contagious. For example, sometimes you’ll see two babies, and if one’s
crying, the other one looks at it and starts crying, too. Emotions can have
that affect on adults too, and I’m not immune to it.
From an interview with Sharon Baltes of the
Des Moines Business Record appearing February 14, 2005
|
|
|
